New Orleans has always been seen in one of two ways; a melting pot of crazies that choose to live below sea level and then panic when even a heavy rain storm is heading at us, OR, the more widely known version of New Orleans, a city rich in culture, family, friendliness, good food and day drinking. Guess what. Both things can be true.
While our brains should be put in a jar and studied for being so loyal to a city with holes in the streets that are bigger than our cars and a football team that causes us to wear paper bags over our heads, the reality is that something must be keeping us here. And some of those reasons can be seen, and felt, during Mardi Gras!
If you rely on outsiders such as the media/ social media to tell you all about Mardi Gras, you more than likely have no idea what you are missing, or what you are walking into if you are heading this way. Thank God you have found this survival guide to educate you on the etiquette and make you aware of the expectations which will ultimately help you stay safe, get along with your fellow parade-goers and help you play the long game in an effort to survive well into the weekend.
First and foremost, Mardi Gras is not one event; it is a full season. It has its own clothing, food, traditions, music and a ton of celebrations and activities. It isn’t just parades (although the word “JUST” when speaking of parades is blasphemy). There are events and parties all over the city, and the surrounding cities. I will not get into the events that precursor the season, the kings and queens of it all, or the float specifics, etc. I hate learning so I definitely don’t want to teach – let’s get down to what we’re all here for, the main Mardi Gras events!
Mardi Gras Dictionary:
Deep Gras – the marathon of consecutive parades starting the Wednesday before Mardi Gras day and lasts all the way through Mardi Gras day. The Uptown route (which is the only route I will cover in this survival guide) will have parades on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday nights plus all day on Saturday, all day and night on Sunday, all night on Monday and then, of course, Mardi Gras Day.
For locals, we are basically no longer working, at least not mentally even if our physical bodies are present at work, from Wednesday to Wednesday. The city almost literally shuts down to anything that is not Mardi Gras related. And, NO, you cannot get married that weekend and for the love of God, do not be that client that says “I’m coming in town Mardi Gras week, can we meet one morning?” No, we cannot. We are all hung over, or have already started drinking again!
The Box – a term used to identify the streets in which the floats line up, or streets that make up the route of the actual parades, or the streets that are closed due to either of the above. As a local, we know that if you live or work within the box, you are not only screwed and will not be moving your car for the duration of Deep Gras, but you typically have an excuse not to attend work or leave work early each of the week days leading up to Mardi Gras weekend.
Krewe of Chad – refers to people that show up hours before the start of the parade, as you should, and stake their claim to real estate on the route by putting up ladders, tarps, tents, etc. This terms actually applies to everyone that has ever done Mardi Gras and understands the basic necessities, but the city wants you to believe that these people are abnormal. They are not – just don’t bring out your living room furniture and you won’t be a Chad (by city standards).
Etiquette and important information to know before you geaux:
1. Mardi Gras actually does not happen on Bourbon Street. It is true that many people party there after the parades, or before the parades, although most of the people on Bourbon Street are tourists, since most of the locals are on the balconies above. Regardless, the reality is that New Orleans has a lot to offer off of Bourbon Street and Mardi Gras has everything to offer nowhere near it.
2. Do NOT flash for beads. This is definitely something that someone from out of town started and everyone who ever visited followed suit. Locals do not do this.
3. Do not show up five minutes before a parade and stand in front of the crowds of people who have been out there “saving the spot” all day. This is where your safety is in jeopardy and things can go left really quickly. Save your own spot OR stand in the back. There’s plenty of room for everyone, but maybe not in the front if people are already there. You might hear that the rules have changed due to the “Krewe of Chad” and now you cannot save spots! LIES!! While each year the city tries to make it harder to keep traditions alive, it is known that everyone has their “spots” and even if you don’t see the people standing there at 6am, someone is there with eyes on the space. So, you showing up at 6pm for a 6:30pm parade is an absolute NO!!!!
4. Do not throw beads at the floats as they pass. The idea is for the riders to throw to us and because of that they are not expecting to have something thrown at them. You will not look cool or funny, but you will look like an idiot who does not get out much.
5. Do not follow the float down the street, unless you know someone riding on that float. There will be another float right behind the one that just passed. Wait patiently and get out of the street. This is not only a safety issue, but you also look ridiculous so stop it.
6. Do not fight a child for a pair of beads; actually, do not fight anyone. Beads cost nickels and dimes and are essentially worth nothing. It is not that serious.
7. Pace yourself with the drinking. During Mardi Gras, most people have been out on the route for hours before the parade even starts. In order to make it through the entire day, pace yourself. Do drink water and eat A LOT! There is food everywhere! Remember that this is a full on marathon!
8. Do not wear flip flops if you are planning to go to Bourbon Street (that is just a rule no matter when you are here) and, for God’s sake, do not walk around bare foot.
Now, for your survival kit – before you head out to the parades each morning, pack a backpack and include the following:
1. A roll of toilet paper
2. Antibacterial hand sanitizer
3. Aspirin or Excedrin Migraine – headaches are the worst
4. Crackers, a sandwich or some kind of snack if you are not packing a full lunch
5. A koozie in case you switch to beer
6. A few plastic cups in case you, or a friend, need to make a drink on the route
7. A bottle or two of water – stay hydrated
8. Depending on the weather, pack accordingly; a sweatshirt if it’s cooler weather. As the sun goes down, it will get colder so check the weather for the night as well. Bring an umbrella if rain is predicted. Pack for the entire day into the night…not just the day time.
9. Extra of whatever alcohol or beer you are drinking. Tip: if you do not want to drag a cooler around all day, wrap your beer can in foil and then put it in a zip lock bag with some ice. This will keep your beer cold if you do not want to drag an ice chest around all day. Also, to conserve space, put your alcohol in empty water bottles.
No matter what, just have fun and BE fun! Something important to know is that along the route, people are typically happy to share a beer, or a bite to eat, or even a bathroom if you get super lucky. Say thank you and say it with cash money. The point is, do not take advantage of people’s generosity. Even if they don’t accept it, it is nice to offer and that will, more than likely, get you a spot with them for life!
No one loves talking about New Orleans more than New Orleanians and we love to make new friends. So make some new friends, and enjoy everything Mardi Gras has to offer from us. And then and only then, you can head to Bourbon Street.